Hey alls. Feeling stressed.
You know what? Maybe I really shoud take a break and stuff.
Constantly asking questions to the teachers are really like
boot licking them and that's what alot of people are thinking.
Is there anything wrong with clearing my doubts?
I'm so tired, I really am.
The only 2 people whom I know that are REALLY listening to every lecture the teacher gives is probably XZ and me.
Why is the class so noisy sometimes?
I really want to listen to the lesson.
It pisses off the teachers sometimes and we all get scolded.
Then higher mother tongue again.
Its so stressful. SA coming up soon.
HMT teacher going to look at SA marks and decide whether we should stay.
Butterflies appear in my stomach whenever I hear this.
We are required to remember 40 idioms.
I am so worried, I've been remembering ever since the day the teacher told us so.
I feel like crying peoples.
I know I may appear hyper and sacarstic sometimes but deep down,
I am so worried and scared. I want to cry.
Ever tried having everyone lookng at you when your marks is announced and you are not up to your normal standard?
Sometimes being good at a subject is really suckish.
People gives you the damn look whenever you fall below your average standard.
Am I being too obedient?
Maybe I should let my hair loose for awhile and let my grades drop.
A guy, whom is the first who actually confessed to me that he likes me, got rejected because I wanted to concentrate on my studies and my mother didn;t allow.
Well, that isn't anything special anyway. I mean I don't really feel anything for him yet.
But him waiting for so long really touches me.
Thanks for your love. But I can't accept it.
Is it actually good for me to be obedient?
People come to me for many questions and I gladly help them.
But sometimes I feel that I'm being used.
Well, you wouldn't understand how I feel anyways.
Lots of people laugh at me because I like studying and reading.
Well, I'm not referring to a particular someone, ok?
Just what I feel.
I strive so hard to perform well in everything I do and sometimes its just not enough.
Nobody's perfect. I do realise some of my mistakes that my friends pointed out to me and I appreciate it. I will try to change.
Well, I'm not to the stage where dark circles appear under my eyes and I start slashing my wrists.
Not to that.
But sometimes I just stare at a wall and laugh for nothing, then cry.
Weird?
I don't know.
Suddenly having changed from 4 sucjects to 9 is too much.
Maybe I really shouldn't have opted for HMT in the first place.
I do admit it gives people the impression that you are smart.
But is it worth it? Stressing yourself up.
But I will try my best to stay in it anyway.
For the sake of my grades.
Thanks for reading this post :) I feel much better now.